When will InuYasha end?
by Cathryn Arden
Summary: InuYasha plot line parody. For a long time there was very little story progress, and this is me expressing my frustration. Inuyasha and his friends will deffinatly fight on... and on... and on.. and on...


This is a story I wrote a few years ago. Despite making me laugh out loud, the were too many mistakes staring me in the face, so I've decided to revisit it.

(I)(N)(U)(Y)(A)(S)(H)(A)

"Naraku, your rein of terror is at its end! Today we shall finally….. ow …ow…crap.. my hip," Kagome clasped her side as her hip once again slid out of place, and she tumbled to the ground. This was the trouble when she still continued to battle at her age. But they had to go on. Even if they had been fighting Naraku for half a century, in half a million different situations, today was defiantly the final battle which would signal an end for it all.

Yet despite the passing of time, she still hadn't passed her high school entrance exam.

Naraku, who was sitting down on some random rock, and looking quite relaxed, lazily raised a finger and sent one of his 100 million offspring to attack her. He had long given up attempting to name them, and simple referred to each by number. This particular offspring resembled a mutated fish, and had been stalking them for the past 100 chapters.

Even if vending machines and Hello Kitty merchandise stands had begun popping up on street corners, Inu-Yasha hadn't changed since the day he first met Kagome. His brow narrowed at the sight of her suffering, and he raised his sword towards their nemesis. "Naraku, you bastard! Super random, Tetsusaiga attack number 104!" he bellowed while making an over dramatic sweeping motion. Every month Inu-Yasha gained a new sword ability just for the sake of halting story progress. This week's attack was a shining bright rainbow that resembled something from Carebears.

Naraku sighed in boredom as he absently blocked it and sent it back towards the half-breed. Yes, even after all this time there was still unfortunately _one more shard_ remaining. Inu-Yasha, and all his little friends, always seemed to survive despite him being a super powerful evil demon, who was capable of crushing every other nemesis. Naraku's latest evil scheme involved waiting until they died of old age, but Inu-Yasha, and his group of fools, seemed determined as hell to try and destroy that one too.

"Inu-Yasha!" screamed Miroku. Well as much as Miroku could scream being old and all. Due to how it would ruin the story if he died, Miroku had now out lived both his father and grandfather put together. The wind tunnel had long ago absorbed his entire hand, and now opened from his elbow. Sango had also long gone infertile. Leaving the so called monk to constantly harass poor young maidens to bare his child. He was also becoming less skilled at running away from angry boyfriends. It was predicted that he would die by their hands before the wind tunnel or Naraku killed him.

And what would the story be without little Shippo the fox demon? The cute demon who had accompanied them on so many journeys. The young child who had always tried so very hard to help?

Let him rest in peace.

"Priest, don't do it!" wheezed Sango melodramatically, as Miroku fumbled with the seal on his wind tunnel franticly to prevent the offspring from advancing. "The poison bees!"

Unfortunately Miroku was beginning to come down with Alzheimer's, and was forgetting such crucial facts. He eventually succeeded with the seal, only to get an armful of poison bees and fall down instantly. Miroku would of course miraculously heal completely, only to do it all over again in one weeks time. Sango was beginning to suspect that he got high off it.

On a hill in the distance, a solemn figure in a priestess outfit stood overlooking the battle. Her long raven hair danced in the wind, and her face remained completely expressionless. Due to already being dead, the years had failed to affect Kikyo. Despite still trying to kill Naraku and woo Inu-Yasha, her main achievement over the last fifty years was succeeding to die and promptly resurrect a total of thirty times.

At the thought of Inu-Yasha, Kikyo's back suddenly bent as she clasped her hands together in a plotting motion. She smirked in satisfaction as her eyes danced with evil. Yes, Inu-Yasha would most defiantly become hers.

After ten minutes Kagome was finally able to pick herself up, only to see Kikyo off in the distance. She wheezed, as though having a heart attack, and ripped out her make-up bag. Despite putting on enough weight to rip her school girl uniform, and ageing significantly, Kagome still attempted to outdo the dead priestess. Even after so many years Inu-Yasha still continued to volley between them. Maybe she should really go out more with Hojo-kun, who still voiced his interest, even though he was now living in a retirement home.

"Oh it's Kikyo," mumbled Naraku as he sent out a wave of evil energy which destroyed the mountain and killed her instantly.

There was a gasp among Kagome's group. "Naraku you bastard! You killed Kikyo!" Inu-Yasha spontaneously sent out an attack that instantly killed all Naraku's offspring, which he had been failing to do ten minutes earlier.

Naraku didn't bother moving, and simply sighed as one of Kagome's arrows managed to target him in the leg. It was always like this. They would almost kill him, only to witness him go off and revamp himself completely. He preferred this game over '_Find Naraku's heart,'_ and he assumed it would take them a while to find this week's new and exciting location.

Once they'd taken out his other leg, and right arm, Naraku decided to call it a day, and went floating off into the sunset. Inu-Yasha and friends soon regrouped to call a team meeting, and assess their future progress. Kagome was certain they almost had him this time, and the next battle would undoubtedly assume their victory.

And with that Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Miroku, and Sango hobbled away on their ageing legs to go off and complete another side story. One which would do nothing to progress the plot, and only succeed in dragging the story out further. Who knows, maybe they would have a chance encounter with Kohaku, and go though an entire scene of '_Your dead and there's nothing we can do about it, yet we still refuse to kill you.'_

As they disappeared into the distance, a lone figure on the remnants of a hill slowly began putting itself back together, one grain of dirt at a time. Yes, Inu-Yasha would defiantly be hers, even if it killed her.

(I)(N)(U)(Y)(A)(S)(H)(A)

I hope you enjoyed it, check out my profile for more.

Cathryn Arden


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